The idiocy of people will never cease to amaze to me. It makes me wonder how we’re all so closely linked in terms of our genetics, because I question my “not so distant” relation to 99% of the people out there.

I was out for a short, easy ride on the outskirts of the suburbs of Almaden. All was going well, until I heard a truck slowing behind me. Then I felt a shower of tuna, sardines, and the spray of beer. Naturally, the cowards that drove the truck, sped away. Unfortunately, a deer didn’t appear in the road, forcing them to swerve, causing their truck to roll into a grove of trees. Seriously, where are the deer when you really need one?
Since I was quite upset with what just happened, I started sprinting to catch the truck. I figured there was an outside chance that I could catch the truck if they stopped at all the stop signs. So, I mashed the pedals so hard that Mark Cavendish might have had trouble holding my wheel – probably not true. After turning the corner and seeing a clear road ahead, I stopped the pursuit and cut my ride short feeling demoralized. Then I got a good whiff of the beer and fish…
The bastards managed to soak my jersey in beer and the pungent oil which marinated the fish – which was now marinating me. It was very unpleasant. I have no idea who the people were who threw the stuff at me, but I’m sure I can type them. Besides being obvious losers, they’re they type that go to a local community college for 8 years and never transfer. They lead boring lives, working dead-end jobs, which perpetuates a life of misery that they mask through being douche-bags and partying all the time. They also get fat. In essence, they contribute nothing to society; they just make the world a worse place.